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Please note that we have a new online booking system and you will need to re-register to book
If you require assistance with your booking, please email info@beaconartscentre.co.uk or phone our office on 01475 723 723.

September 2018

DH Promotions presents

Milton Jones & Friends


A top night of comedy is coming to the Beacon! Headlining the show is the messy haired master of the one liner, Milton Jones! A regular feature on our TV screens, Milton has appeared on Live at the Apollo and is a regular panellist on Mock the Week.

Milton is one of the country’s most successful touring comedians. His unique style of comedy has audiences in stitches causing laughter just as loud as his shirts!

“No-one can touch Jones when he hits his stride” The Guardian

Milton will be joined on the night by four top Scottish comedians.

Date: 29 Sep 2018
Prices: £20.00 to £22.50

October 2018

Robert C Kelly by arrangement with The Dolls present

The Dolls Dragged Up


THEY’RE BACK! The tan has barely faded from Agnes and Sadie’s thick skin and they’re in trouble again, and left lip-synching for their lives.

Missing money, an unlucky handbag and nutcase gangsters are just a few of the disasters they’ll have to dodge as the Dolls are dragged through a glittering underworld filled with rivalries, rhinestones and rammies on a camp, crazy, gusset drenching adventure of queen sized proportions!

Mistaken identities and secret disguises abound in this highly anticipated sequel. Will the gallus gals be able to keep up with who’s who? Will long brewing family resentments be resolved? Will The Dolls solve the mystery of the missing dug and most importantly, will their dormant 1980’s disco dancing skills save them from The McKray twins, Scotland’s fruitiest, nuttiest gangsters?

Bring yer pals join THE DOLLS in DRAGGED UP!

Not for the fainthearted or the weans under 16.

Date: 11 Oct - 13 Oct 2018
Prices: £25.00

United Agents

Robert Florence is Biscuity Boyle: My Bastart Life


Character comedy from the co-writer and star of the hit BBC Scotland sketch show Burnistoun.

Burnistoun's favourite son Biscuity Boyle has left behind the Burnistoun Community Centre Circuit to tour the length and breadth of Scotland with his debut solo show. Athlete, raconteur, disco dancer - Biscuity Boyle has done it all, and he is ready to share stories from his bastart life - if he lives long enough to tell them. Love, sex, death - nothing is off the page for the elder statesman of Scottish comedy.

Date: 13 Oct 2018
Prices: £16.00

MZA & CHiLL Productions present
Craig Hill – C’mon the Lads!


This show is soooooo not about fit-baws! Jockstrap yourself in for a “Balls-out”funny night of no-holds-barred comedy - it’s all gonna kick off!

Hot on the heels of his latest sell-out tour, our very favourite Kilted Comedian shoots back to the
Beacon Arts Centre and scores with a night full of fun - remember and book early!

‘Flat-out hilarious... I’ve not heard a room laugh so long and hard… There isn’t
anyone better at working a crowd… the audience was in absolute paroxysms of
laughter… Genuinely funny.’ ★★★★★ (Mirror).

‘Funny as hell!’ (Scotland on Sunday)

‘Riotous!’ ★★★★ (Herald Sun, Australia)

‘Wickedly subversive… Funny, charming, charismatic’ (Metro)

‘Hilarious… delightfully fizzy tone and sharp observational jokes…Brilliant!’ (Daily Record)

‘Master of audience interaction’ (Chortle)

‘Priceless... … A laugh-out-loud performance from beginning to end… An
hour with Hill makes for a cracking show.. absolutely hilarious!’ ★★★★ (List)




www.mrcraighill.com

@mrcraighill #Cmonthelads

Date: 19 Oct 2018
Prices: £12.50 to £14.50

November 2018

DH Promotions presents

Gary Faulds Live


Due to phenomenal demand, Gary Faulds’ 2018 tour is being extended! It’s been an incredible five years for Gary selling out shows all over the country and getting amazing hits on his Facebook Live videos.

Listen, enough sales jargon, it’s Gary here. I am currently hungover and trying to make masel sound amazing, but really I am one fart away from a nappy!

Please buy tickets so I can sell this out and send my family to Craig Tara while I take a cruise.

I look forward to sharing an incredible night with you all at the Beacon!

Date: 23 Nov 2018
Prices: £14.00 to £15.00

January 2019

Dirty Dusting
Category: Comedy

Entertainment Unlimited presents

Dirty Dusting


Treat yourself to an evening of pure theatrical Viagra when Dirty Dusting returns to the stage in 2019 after three sell out UK tours.

A chance wrong number gives three cleaning ladies a great idea - ‘Why not run a sex chat line?’ After all, their age and appearance won’t matter on the phone and, providing they can keep this a secret from their boss, they could be on to a winner.

This is a heart-warming, feel good comedy which will have you rolling in the aisles and smiling every time you answer the phone. Dirty Dusting is a sex chat line that really cleans up.

Date: 18 Jan 2019
Prices: £0.00 to £21.00

March 2019

Robert C Kelly presents

Menopause The Musical


Starring Cheryl Fergison (EastEnders), Maureen Nolan (The Nolans), Rebecca Wheatley (Casualty) and Katherine Lynch (RTÉ’s “Wagons Den”). Menopause the Musical is heading out on another UK wide tour. This hysterical show packed full of one-liners about night sweats, hot flushes and memory loss is backed by an instantly recognisable soundtrack of innuendo-laden versions of 60s, 70s and 80s pop classics.
An all-singing, all-dancing comedy set in a department store, where four women with seemingly nothing in common, meet by chance and make fun of their woeful lives experiencing “The Change”. They soon bond as they realise that the menopause is no longer “The Silent Passage”, but an unavoidable stage in every woman’s life.

The hysterical and uplifting Menopause The Musical will have you laughing, and singing, all the way home.

The show has played sold out-out tours across the world so call your girlfriends and book now for the ultimate girls night out.

Join us on Facebook at “Menopause The Musical UK Tour”

Age advisory +16

Date: 1 Mar - 2 Mar 2019
Prices: £0.00 to £27.50